Keeping perspective

I posted an entry a while ago outlining my "rules" for social media participation: I continue to be amazed (and apalled?) at the number of people that seem to use social media sites as places to engage with potential "hook-ups" - are we, as a society, so fixated with sexual interaction that no opportunity is overlooked?

A golden rule that I have is to NEVER meet anyone in the flesh as a result of a social media encounter: apart from not wanting to be a hypocrite, I have no doubt there would be a high degree of disappointment on the part of the other person in what the real "me" actually consists of.

I beg you, dear reader, to maintain a degree of perspective and self-dignity - please don't spoil the joy of discovery that these sites can offer for the sake of tawdry sexual conquests. If that is truly what you are after, then use alternative means/sites that are established for that specific purpose where you will find other like-minded individuals. 

Should we ever go back?

A long-time relationship (one I thought to be dead, to be perfectly honest) has raised it's head again recently.

It has come at a time when I have much turmoil in my life: my aged father is quite ill and my "love life" - while having had a couple of recent carnal (but essentially emotion-free) high points - is not great. 

This (potentially resurrectable) long-term association offers me solace, comfort, understanding and requires little of me in return; potentially a "no-brainer" it -by contrast - offers me little in the way of excitement and adventure ... Which is essentially why it faltered in the first place.

So what do I do? Do I throw the offer of potential emotional stability back in the face of the one who is offering or do I "go back", accept what is offered and reciprocate as best I can whilst trying to inject a level of excitement (where possible) into the arrangement?

My quandary continues ....

What if ...(part 3) - final

So a low-key assignation was arranged: no pressure on either of us to be intimate or sexy - just a good, old-fashioned evening of good company to get to know one another better.

It didn't start too well - circumstances conspired to make her over an hour late; she was, of course, contrite and spent the first 10 minutes of our time together apologising for her late arrival. Pleasantries and civilities complete we sat in the bar at hotel I was staying at (and had arranged to meet at) for approximately an hour, swapping stories, divulging little tit-bits of info and dropping the odd 'secret' - each to the other to help fill out our 'profiles' and impressions of our respective personalities.

After an hour we decided to adjourn, with drinks, to my room to talk in a little more privacy and where we could divulge further info about ourselves that perhaps we wouldn't want to share in a more public place. This civil intimacy lasted for approximately another hour before we both reverted to type and started tearing each others' clothes off.

What ensued over the next 3 or so hours can only be described as a period of intense mutual pleasure and ultimate satisfaction: my enjoyment of her was more intense and satisfying than our previous time together as was (unless she was a consummate actress - repeatedly!) hers.

We spent the night together lying entwined in the big double bed of the hotel room until real life - and the alarm clock - interrupted our slumbers too early the following morning and we parted civilly, thanking each other for a lovely time and promising to stay in touch and get together again soon. 

We won't.

What if ...(part 2)

Much to my surprise, she did appear to notice me. 

We conversed by text and email and met again, ending up "very close" (yes, that is a euphemism), an experience that was thoroughly enjoyable and enhanced in no small part by her beauty, compliance and skill.

Since then we have continued to converse and she has alluded to the prospect that perhaps our "close encounter" should not be a one-off. For this prospect I am both flattered and excited in equal measure ... but what now?

I am too old to play the "keep it cool" game - but I really don't want to stifle her with over-reaction and a bombardment/deluge of irritating communications... she has her own, very full, life where she encounters others she MUST be drawn to (other "close encounters" must be inevitable) - this aspect of her is one of the things I find intriguing and attractive - and I don't want to come across as the "clingy, desperate" one (I'm not!) ... so for the first time in a long time I'm at a loss as to what to do next.

The easiest thing would be to commit the experience to memory, stay friendly with her and move on; but the memory of how she reacted to me, the image in my head of the way she looked at me ....

Social media - rules for sanity and survival

You may recall that in a recent previous post I vented my feelings on my perception of "fake" and parasitic users on social media. 

My social media of choice is Twitter. After much thought and consideration, I have summarised my thoughts and intentions for any continued use of this particular vehicle into 3 simple rules, which you may want to consider for your own use:-

Don't judge; keep those that make you feel good close to you, enjoy their interaction & let everyone else go fuck themselves (twitter rule #1)

Tell only what you want, don't be coerced to reveal more. Don't be pressurised to call, meet, text or in anyway communicate outside of the bounds of the social media facility unless YOU want to.  If that's not good enough for someone, tell 'em to fuck off (twitter rule #2)

If they bad mouth you, slag you off or generally give you any negativity, FFS use the unfollow and block buttons - no one has a "divine right" to be in your "Twittersphere" (twitter rule #3)

If this framework doesn't suffice for your follower interaction, the followers in question probably aren't worth bothering with. 

Rant over ...

What if ...

As I have aluded to in previous posts, I believe we all have ambitions in life. These "milestone" ambitions are often preceded by smaller "peace-meal"  targets along the way ... Targets that either - once achieved as a group -ultimately lead to the attainment of one of our ambitions,  or are simply the achievement of a smaller "want" or "desire" in our everyday life to make us more comfortable or secure or feel good about ourselves.

This does not apply merely or exclusively to material objects and possessions but also, I believe, to our acquaintances and relationships.

I have been lucky enough - through one of my hobbies - to have a new person come into my life (yes, OK, it's a lady!) who is stunningly beautiful, a wonderful (yet flawed and somewhat troubled) person who -because of her occupation and lifestyle - meets many people,  most of whom are far more interesting, attractive and intelligent than I and she, therefore - in nothing but the barest of civil interactions - hardly notices that I exist. 

So what is it about these "unrequited" acquaintances that attract and fascinate us so? Yes - I admit it - I have a little crush on this lady: are my feelings and fascination for her heightened due to the one-sided nature of the acquaintance? I don't know; but what if ....

What if she DID notice me? What if she DID have a similar fascination and feelings for me? What then? I would, undoubtedly, feel very good about myself for being able to attract such a stunning, gorgeous and interesting lady (arrogant I know - but I make no apologies or pretend otherwise) .... but  would the fascination and arrogant contentment last or would I - in my typically shallow way - having achieved this "target", be on the lookout for someone more beautiful, more stunning etc? 

The intricacies of my own nature - and that of we humans generally - never ceases to fascinate, absorb (and on occasions disappoint) me.

Your thoughts, kind reader, are welcomed ...

Liars, Parasites and "users"

With the advent of the various Social Media sites and their portability via tablet and smartphone 'apps', it has never been easier to 'meet' new people and interact with them pretty much any time, anywhere.

This - in concept - is great. You can 'meet' and interact with new people, the likes of which you might never encounter in real life, exchange views, thoughts, ideas, laugh and argue together and - in some rare cases - ultimately meet in the flesh and become firm friends. However, like all things in life, for every good thing/experience, there seems to be (in my experience at least) an equal and opposite 'baddie'.

Unfortunately, aside from the Cyber Trolls that everyone must by now be aware of, there appear to be a strata of social media participants who are little better than parasites (or 'users') of the less-suspecting, good hearted and well-intentioned site user.

In this I refer to the people who either :

• misrepresent themselves - the Liars - (projecting themselves to be something that they are not in order to attract attention)
• 'latch on' to others - the Parasites - to gather as much information about that person or their expertise for their own satisfaction and then 'drop' the 'innocent' party like a stone once they are sated   
• manipulate others - the Users - for their own ends or gratification

Of course, there are Social Media users who have elements/combinations of all three of the broad categories I list here (and likely others that I have not): none of which is appealing or productive to any but the perpetrator.

The net effect of the Trolls, the Liars, the Parasites et all is an extremely negative experience for the innocent, well -intentioned Social Media user when such sites are conceived/designed to be exactly the opposite. The plus side, however, is that - as the actual writing of this blog entry attests - the well-intentioned user is now becoming 'wise' to the predatory nature of others and is more guarded - and perhaps better armed? - and able to deal with such 'enemies'.

So if you are a Social Media user reading this via a profile link, heed my words.... if you are not here with the best of intentions, we are on to you.