Self Image and Confidence

I’ve heard it said that confidence comes with age. I don’t agree – as I’ve grown older self doubt, various inferiority complexes and huge self-image issues have started to invade my psyche.

Men “of a certain age” start to doubt themselves: - “am I too fat?”,  “am I still virile?”, “can I still perform in the bedroom?” . Underpinning all such doubts is the need to be told we are still attractive and desirable . Some men pursue this affirmation in the form of an extra-marital affair or by the purchase of some heinously expensive toy (often a fast car?) - the stereotypical ‘mid life crisis’ – (I am guilty of both) while others simply accept the doubts as “normal” and opt for the “pipe and slippers” lifestyle.

Who is correct?

Women in similar positions of mid-life doubt (in my limited experience) also tend to fall on either side of the divide: - they either opt for the ‘fuck it’ approach and let their hair go grey, their busts drop and their waistlines spread and accept it as “growing old gracefully” or they hit the gym, drop a couple of dress sizes, improve their social circles and (perhaps) pursue a token of self-affirmation - e.g. pose for a set of boudoir photographs at their local photography studio to obtain physical proof of their ability to ward off the ravages of time (Ladies posing for saucy photographs is a pet “like” of mine – but more of that in later posts)… - should men consider this option too?

The main difference in the non-acceptance scenarios for men and women – again in my opinion and very limited experience - is that women seem to seek self-affirmation while men seek the affirmation of women. 

Either way - man or woman, accepting or rebelling – who is to say which is right, wrong or what other alternatives not considered here there might be?

Your views and opinions are welcomed….